Traditionally, on the day before your wedding, the festivities begin with a rehearsal dinner. Over time, this function has split into two separate events, a practice session along with dinner. The meal brings together close friends and family, generally the same people who attended the rehearsal, plus appropriate others.
Although a formal rehearsal of the ceremony is not required, most officiants will want to take a run-through of the full program. Those included would be the bride and groom, their parents, the wedding party and any readers/singers. The officiant will give everyone their cues for the next day, so things will go smoothly. Knowing where to stand and what to do will ensure everyone is a fraction less nervous at the wedding.
Ideally, you should have the rehearsal at the wedding site. This can be especially valuable if there are young children in the wedding party. Sometimes however, the requirements of the site do not make a rehearsal feasible. A rehearsal can be done in someone’s home, or in just about any large space.
After the rehearsal, everyone gathers for a celebration dinner, where the bride and groom are the center of attention. In this less-formal setting, family members meeting for the first time can mingle and get better acquainted. Unlike the Big Day, the bride and groom are under less pressure and have more time to talk with relatives in a relaxed fashion.
Once everyone has arrived and is seated, either the bride or groom should take a moment to welcome their guests with a few heartfelt words and thank them for attending. Numerous toasts are usually part of the rehearsal dinner. If you need someone to start the toasts, the groom’s father is a good choice.
The rehearsal dinner guest list should include immediate family, (parents and siblings) wedding-party members, and any spouses and significant others along with the parents of any child attendants. You should invite the officiant and his/her spouse to the dinner, unless it’s a civil service. If you have out-of-town guests who have already arrived for the wedding, you can invite them to the dinner portion of the evening.
The groom’s parents typically pay for this meal, but these days it can be hosted by anyone. No matter who hosts, be sure they are involved in the entire planning process. It is not necessary to issue invitations to the rehearsal dinner.
The dinner can be held wherever you want. Where you hold the event can depend on the number of people you expect to attend and the costs involved. The options are wide open, from a casual barbecue in the backyard to a table for twenty-five at the local country club. Keep in mind, relaxation and chatting are high priorities at this event. The location should also be convenient for out-of-town guests, who may not be familiar with your city.
In addition to family members meeting each other, the dinner provides an excellent opportunity for the couple to hand out their attendant’s thank you gifts. Chances are, this setting will be much less hectic than the reception and can make the gift giving more personalized. The couple should present their parents or anyone else who was an important part of the wedding process, with a token of appreciation.
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